Liberals Grab Axe of Justice Away from Neck of Condemned Cop Killer

On a blustery early December morning in 1981, a drug-addled black separatist named Mumia Abu-Jamal and his brother, William Cook, were pulled over for a routine traffic stop by Philadelphia Police Department officer Daniel Faulkner - an honest, hard-working American just trying to feed his family. Cook, who was under the influence, became agitated and was placed under arrest. As Faulkner led the criminal away, Abu-Jamal raised his pistol and shot him in the back like a coward.

Now, if the liberals of the 3rd U.S. Circuit Court in Philadelphia have their way, Abu-Jamal will be sitting on top of Faulkner's grave in his underwear, eating a banana split by July 4th. Apparently unconvinced by the plethora of physical and circumstantial evidence linking the barbarian to the crime, they've decided to remove him from Death Row, where he awaited a widely-publicized and torturous death at the hands of the state. Daniel Faulkner's widow Maureen was too distraught to comment.

The evidence against Abu-Jamal is irrefuteable. He was witnessed by several witnesses emptying his pistol into the Fallen Hero at his feet. That same pistol - registered in his name - was found lying beside the crumpled body by first responders on the scene. Even more damningly, he later shouted at a room full of Faulkner's Comrades-In-Arms, "I shot the mother f-----, and I hope the mother f----- dies!"

Now it's his turn - at least as long as the judicial system stays out of it.

Abu-Jamal's case has become a pet cause for tens of thousands of black-supremecists, 9/11 Truthers and stoned-out losers who can't find girlfriends. Despite the countless number of suburban high school walkouts their outrage has generated, the 299,990,000 Americans living in the mainstream of American social conciousness demand that he pay in blood for his transgressions. The forfeiture of his pathetic excuse for a life is hardly enough to keep lonely Mrs. Faulkner warm at night. Perhaps the knowledge that he will be suffering an eternity of brutality and hardship will.