Illegal Mexicans Terrorize American Animals

A Common Scene Greeting Hardworking Americans as They Drive Past Their Local Welfare Office

Andale! Andale!

The liberal propaganda-mongers up at the New York Times are reporting that the newest victims of the Latin Invasion are the same harmless beings that serve their country by filling the empty stomachs of its carnivorous human population. Reportedly, Mexicans are swarming like locusts to charreadas, events unlike the family-style celebration of American roots and culture that is The Rodeo, in which animals are subjected to barbarous torture the likes of which even Former P.O.W., Current War Hero and Future President of the U.S.A. John McCain was spared by his evil-to-the-core Viet Cong adversaries.

Some of the horrific acts of violence on display at the charreadas include steer-tailing and horse-tripping, which can result in terrible injuries to our valued bovine and equine citizens. Even as the animals cry out in pain, drunken Mexicans squeal with glee at their misfortune. The reporter from The Times even has a man named Marcos on the record, shouting, “We live for this!”

These beasts have and want to fulfill their responsibility, but are unable to because of their sweat-stained antagonists. Instead of undergoing a beautiful metamorphosis from larval stage (life) to butterfly (New York Strip Steak), they are condemned by The Mexicans to suffer in the dirt.

The Grizz has had it up to here.

When is the burrito bonanza going to stop? When will those who hate us leave our creatures and our jobs in peace? When will they see that Americans don’t move into foreign countries, snuffing out life, breaking laws, stealing livelihoods and depriving others of their God-given resources.

The Freedom Brothers are calling for a boycott of all Mexicans until the charreadas are closed and The Illegals return to their hive. The Grizz is disappointed to have to fire his cleaning lady, but he’s heard that Bill Clinton’s nightmare-living Wife is looking for a job.

Communists Open New Front in War on Gender

Communism is Gay

Freedom Lovers dwelling all across America’s purple mountain majesty are reacting with revulsion and fury to reports that Cuba, domain of three-quarters-dead tyrant Fidel Castro, will be sending in hundreds of citizens for the dual castration and hormone engineering process sometimes referred to as “gender reassignment therapy”. Warm-welcomed Cuban refugees to the United States took the silence of the communistic nation’s socialist celebrants in the democrat party as a hateful slap in the face, further cementing their allegiance to the Party of War Hero John McCain – the Republican party.

The Trustworthy Encyclopedia, Conservapedia, points out that there is a widely identified link between transexualism – the lifestyle lived by a sufferer of “gender identity disorder” - and homosexualism.

In the United States, the government takes steps to encourage its population to live healthier, more heterosexual lives. In the third to last international communist stronghold (the other two being Maoist China and Illist North Korea) they encourage these personal depravities.

Luckily, Americans’ hatred of Cubans will serve to better their own country, and remind them of what happens when liberals are allowed to turn entire countries into their own personal amusement parks. Rest assured, if anti-, un- and, according to recent reports, possibly non-American B. Hussein Obama takes over America, he’ll be handing out adoptive children to homosexuals with his left hand, and grabbing your self-defense mechanism with his right.

Republicans Block Sham Environmental Bill

The Washington Times is reporting that a liberal-celebrated Senate environmental bill has been buried by thirty-six courageous Republican congressmen. If successful, the measure would have stolen jobs, suppressed the economy, and raised gasoline prices, hence further sullying the good name of Our President George W. Bush and fooling the ignorant into voting for B. Hussein Obama in November. Luckily for America and the rest of a dependent world, it didn’t.

Specifically, the bill called for caps in carbon dioxide emissions, which ostensibly cause “climate change”, a phenomenon that even environmentalist zealots acknowledge would only raise the global temperature by a couple of degrees – if it even existed in the first place. It doesn’t, as proven most recently by global Freedom Fighter Vaclav Klaus, President of the Czech Republic, and true friend to Former Prisoner of War, Current Hero and Future President of the United States of America John McCain.

democrat operatives playing politics - namely fat bastard Al Gore - have made out carbon dioxide emissions to be some sort of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi or Ayman Muhammad Rabaie al-Zawahiri. What they don’t want Americans to know is that these same CO2 emissions are most commonly produced by the power plants that run the medical devices used to sustain life in the sickly; the refineries that provide fuel for the machinery hard-working Americans use to harvest their crops; even the factories that build the toys that make our children smile. Ostensibly, the hardships that such deprivation would lead to are worth it, as long as they can create an excuse to steal more hard-earned tax dollars from struggling Joe America.

As usual, the Freedom Brothers applaud the Republican party for seeing through the slime-screen, and condemn the democrats. After a landslide victory in November, the former will put an end to this nonsense once and for all.

B. Hussein Proceeds with the Homosexualization of the democrat Party

CNN is reporting that if - in a fantasy world of Mermaids, Lorax's and Keebler Elves - B. Hussein Obama is elected President, he will flood the military with gays and lesbians as soon as he can defeat the currently 100% straight American military, and bring it home from the global heartland of Terrorism in shame. It is unclear whether homosexual rock star Elton John still plans to continue supporting Bill Clinton's Wife in the wake of this announcement. He stands to earn huge sums of cash should B. Hussein decree Tiny Dancer to be the United States Marine Corps' new fight song.

It is a proven fact that the allowance of gays and lesbians to openly revel in their sexual deviancy will lead to a rapid decline in the standard of bravery and physical strength demanded of The Troops by average hard-working Americans. Even more dangerously, without the guarantee that gay men will refrain from engaging in sex while on watch or in battle, straight Warriors would have to work overtime to take on the responsibilities of others. This strikes right at the heart of America's perpetual military readiness.

Leave it to the democrats to do what Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi couldn't - at least before he was turned into a skidmark by what will probably be the John McCain of our children's era.

Thank God that there is no chance B. Hussein Obama will win the presidency. His current race against the Arch-Enemy of America has inflated his stature, ego and popularity, but as soon as he's relegated her to acting in Activia commercials, his support will taper off and he'll be trying to avoid getting snot on Jeremiah White's welcoming shoulder.

B. Hussein Obama will soon come to regret ever threatening the security of the American people.

Venezuelan Tyrant Puts John Hancock on Suicide Note

Venezuelan president and socialist-tyrant/terrorist Hugo “Fat Man” Chavez recently agreed to let the people he stole two elections from die in a fire-pit of misery after the United States decides to unload some pent-up anger on his country.

Chavez, in what experts are saying was a cocaine-induced, alcohol-soaked statement, threatened to declare war on his neighbor and U.S. Ally Columbia, a strong backer in the War On Terror.

Chavez, while attempting to sober up with his enemy’s national hot drink, said he dislikes Columbia’s anti-terror stance. Columbia recently obliterated anarchist Guevera-loyalists who were hiding in the jungles in Ecuador, planning a 9/11-style attack on Our Ally, Columbia.

After Fat Man closed the Columbian embassy in Carcas, he warned that any retaliation against his country would be a “cause for war.” He called Our Ally, Democratically-elected Columbian President Alvaro Uribe, a “criminal.”

Freedom Eagle called The Grizz after church yesterday and proclaimed, “Time to follow the prophetic statement of American Hero and Religious Leader Pat Robertson who called for the violent assassination of Hugo Chavez years ago.”

“Right on,” said The Grizz. “If only the Stalinist-liberals in the media hadn't portrayed Chavez as the next John Lennon, another hatist liberal, we’d never be in this mess.”

The Venezuelan Fat Man knows that the United States will not go to war with his country. War implies both sides are fighting. We will simply obliterate it. Freedom Eagle cannot wait to turn on Fox News and watch the jungles go up in flames, killing all who decide to stay back and fight the United States and her Ally, Columbia. The U.S. Military would love to make Nagasaki look like a calm Spring day in the park.

Go ahead Hugo. Make our day.