Thursday, July 3, 2008

What is America?

Freedom isn't free.

The Freedom Brothers respectfully ask all Americans to remember what America means on this most solemn of holidays: July 4th; the anniversary of Our Independence. Let The Grizz share with you what America is to him.

America is a Ford Expedition, barreling down the desert highway at sixty-five miles per hour.

America is the look on The Terrorist’s face as he stares up at the scorching Cuban sun from his 5’ x 5’ barbed wire and cement prison cell, beseeching his god to set him free.

America is the point where the marshmallow and chocolate melt together over your graham cracker.

America is a New York City Firefighter. 9/11. Never forget.

America is Brett Favre, Jeff Foxworthy and Pat Tillman. Babe Ruth, Charlie Chaplan, and Scott Beamer. Dale Earnhardt, George Patton, George Bush.

America is the grizzled factory worker, pulling a double down at the plant.

America is a blood-drenched Marine raising Old Glory over a Pacific black-sand isle.

America is a cold beer on a hot afternoon.

America is your friends.

Your family.


We love this country for spacious skies, for amber waves of grain, for purple mountains majesty above the all the fruited plains.

We love this country for the plentiful resources, the clean rivers, the deserts and the open seas.

We love this country for the football, the good cars, the Christianity, the beef.

Barack Hussein Obama stood in front of his “church” and yelled “God damn America!”

You know what the Freedom Brothers say? Not "God damn America."

God bless America.

God bless this country.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Freedom. God. Family.

On Friday, after the yearly initial sense of euphoria, Freedom Eagle will settle down and grasp what July 4th truly means to him.

My son, the pride of my life, hangs our American flag outside each and every morning. Though only 10 years old, he already aspires to join the Marines when he is legally able and would never subject himself to the sludged liberal halls of an American university full of new dealers. Calvin came up to me this afternoon, and he asked: “Why do some people not celebrate the Fourth, Dad?”

“Because, son,” I said, “they’re brats, traitors, and treasonous. They hate America and all She stands for.”

“Shame on them,” he said.


This is what liberals stand for: Change from the good, false hope, and shame. They are ashamed of their Country. The country that has provided them with the freedom to hate it so. The Freedom to love whom they will (could they feel love) and the freedom to vote for Future President McCain (who, on January 20th, 2009, will follow in the footsteps of the Mighty George W. Bush.)

The Freedom to get their news from MTV and Comedy Central, which they take for credible.

This July 4th, with our brave troops overseas, with our warrior president sitting in the White House, praying for their safe return, Freedom Eagle, unfortunately, will feel at least some sense of shame. I am ashamed to share the same ground with the liberal movement who hate America and believe George Bush blew up the twin towers with a remote control joystick and actually planted bombs on the 70th floor the night before. I am ashamed of the cowardly Paultards and their brethren. The ones who call themselves conservatives when they are really just vegetable-sucking psychopaths fantasizing about cupping Ron Paul’s testes.

I will eat my medium-grilled burgers this July 4. I will throw a ball with my son. I will listen to American hero Tim McGraw shred some good old country music and Tom Petty’s American hit “American Girl.” I will close my eyes and dream of the skin melting off cowardly Viet Cong “soldiers” as John McCain napalms their terrorist-inflated villages and I’ll imagine the liberal socialist Adolf Hitler sucking down a bullet while listening to his army getting bulldozed 50 feet above his own demise.

I will think of Saddam Hussein, a Hitlerian figure, heroically hung by Free Iraqis in the name of honor and justice and Freedom.

Freedom and Honor.

B. Hussein, a future nominated loser, will awake to a terrible reality on November 5th. And while he cries, wiping his tears with the Koran he took his oath of office on, he will look up at the American flag and scream at Old Glory: “I hate you.”