Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Finally, Some Good News

Proving that you can’t be liberal, fair, and balanced all at the same, Truth Prophet Matt Drudge is reporting that filthy democrat operative Alan Colmes is getting thrown off his soap box by Fox News Channel. Details filtering in to the Freedom Brothers command center are still sketchy; it isn’t completely clear whether the camel’s spine disintegrated beneath one of Colmes’ most recent lies, or if he simply tired of serving as Sean Hannity’s punching bag after one and a fifth decades. Regardless of the cause, the effect is clear: Americans will no longer have to subject themselves to the pencil-necked twerp’s slander after every long, hard-working day at the construction site, or The Firehouse, or Iraq.
In an interview with the democrat mouthpiece Associated Press, Colmes said, "We have a Democratic House, Senate and [an Islamic] president. My work is done." The Grizz hopes that this is the truth. Now his favorite station, Fox News, can finally call itself an objective media outlet.
Sean Hannity has not yet issued a statement regarding the demise of his unworthy adversary’s career, but he’s clearly earned his fair share of entertainment while pounding Colmes into submission over and over and over again for the last twelve years. He’ll simply need to move on to the next socialist. For Colmes, it won’t be that easy; there’s a better than good chance that he’ll be drinking sewer water to quench his hangover thirst by this time next week.
The Freedom Brothers would like to wish Alan Colmes all the worst. May his future endeavors be filled with dying dreams, lost opportunities and misfortune in general.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I congratulate you, sir, for perhaps the first (and likely to be the only non-satirical) use of the phrase "Truth Prophet Matt Drudge" in world history (this blog entry is the only hit on Google).

"For American right-wingers, there is only truthiness and Matt Drudge is its Prophet."