Thursday, August 28, 2008

Editorial: An Appeal to Supporters of Clinton's Wife

Please let Freedom Eagle editorialize for a moment.

I am writing to you, Socialist housewives, single mothers, and trans-sexuals of the democrat party. The Freedom Brothers feel for you. We do. We know you believed Bill Clinton’s wife was your greatest hope to reclaim the American dream. She represented, for you, not necessarily someone of values (as she is a baby killer who wants Iraqis to kill each other once she cut-and-ran from Iraq), but a chance for all women’s voices to be heard.

For you, she was a leader. Your shameful dream.

But B. Hussein hurt her. Dominated her. And by extension, you. That’s why The Freedom Brothers invite the socialist and radical thinkers of the pathetic democrat party to support a winner for a change. To support Future-President McCain.

Lots of democrats will be supporting McCain this year. You won’t be alone. And truth-seekers and tellers like The Freedom Brothers will be supporting his campaign and its anti-socialist, anti-gay marriage platform, opposing the anarchistic rantings of one B. Hussein, who hates you.

While we don’t agree with the hate-thinkers who mistakenly voted for Bill Clinton’s wife in the primaries, or supported her through occult worship or some other such Satanic practice, we believe Future-President McCain would be your best choice. He was a POW. He suffered for five-and-a-half years so you could practice free speech, open-mouth kiss your trans-gendered boy/girlfriend, and burn the flag at will, all of which have become national past-times of the hate-America-first crowd.

Won’t you join us?

Future-President McCain will ban all abortions, no matter what, because life begins at conception. Don’t you believe this would set a good example for you? Wouldn’t a proven-leader like the Future President convince you that after your human harvesting killing of innocent children with souls, 15-16 infanticidal procedures throughout your teenage years was enough?

Future-President McCain will stay in Iraq as long as it takes. Don’t you believe this sort of persistence will show your children (once abortions are made illegal and you can have them) what persistence truly means? That even if they are tapped out of resources, it pays to continue until the job is done? Don’t you believe the family values set forth here are priceless? We know you’ll be with us, libertines.

The Future-President will continue Our President-President Bush’s tax cuts for the wealthiest 2 percent so their economic benefits can trickle down to you, and maybe – just maybe – you’ll discontinue your government handouts and get a real job.

Future-President McCain is an honest, God-fearing, terrorist-killing, gay-adoption smashing, Saddam Hussein-hanging, Old Glory raising, Viet Cong mutilating, hippie punching, beer swilling, Sean Hannity listening, pickup-truck driving, homosexual hating, infant cuddling, campfire making, factory working, banjo strumming, bin Laden eye-gouging, Reagan hand-shaking, white man. He’s what you strive to be. He wants to help you change your atheistic, America-hating ways. That is, if you choose to embrace him. Embrace him.