Friday, October 31, 2008

Next on To-Do List: Historic McCain Landslide

Future-President McCain has had the odds stacked against him before.

In 1968, after humiliating, burning, decapitating, and melting the skin off cowardly Vietnamese “soldiers” (with precision), while democrat unshowered tree-huggers on the homefront chanted for his death, Future-President McCain’s plane went down in a North Vietnam lake.

Moments later, with both his arms and legs broken, the Future-President fought off over a dozen Vietnamese shorties, swinging his carcassed arms at them, flailing, kicking, and beating several to deserved-death before he was subdued. Afterwards, one was quoted as saying, translated, “He killed my friends. My son held a gun to his head, yet he kept fighting. It took fifteen men to hold him down.”

Then, after five years of electrocution, water-torture, and handcuffed beatings in a beatled, snaked, cockroached dungeon, Future-President McCain came home to a hero’s welcome. “My friends,” he said down at the local pub, “nothing could have stopped me. Hell, not even the mucus merchants in the liberal media.”

Three-and-a-half decades later, no lightweight Muslim extremist with no voting record – whatsoever – is going to do what hundreds of Vietnamese couldn’t.

B. Hussein, a very good friend of thousands of anti-Semitic, terrorism-loving, America-hating liberals, thinks he’s going to be our next president. It has been well documented over the course of two years that like anti-comedian Al Franken (foolishly running for the Senate in Minnesota), he is unfit for office. B. Hussein is a racist coward. He says he was never a Muslim, yet his father was, and according to Sharia law, if your father is a Muslim, you are a Muslim. In the case of B. Hussein, the words “fundamentalist” and “extremist” could also be used to describe his personal Islam.

New revelations come to light every day about B. Hussein, and it’s been obvious for those of us with a desire to quench our thirst for knowledge, that the United States doesn’t know enough about this traitor. Like we said, some sources call him the anti-Christ from hell, doctoral author Jerome Corsi has proven that the one-time drug addict is still abusing marijuana – or as B. Hussein reportedly calls it, “chronic” – and now a formidable source, Atlas Shrugged, has proven that Barack Hussein Obama, Sr. may not have been B. Hussein’s father at all. His real father is – your suspicions were dead on, Dear Readers – Malcolm X.

And B. Hussein wonders why he’s tanking in the polls.

Courageous Republicans, like Michelle Bachman (who correctly stated that the media needs to begin investigating anti-American liberals), Elizabeth Dole (who correctly stated her opponent, the “Godless” Kay Hagan doesn’t believe in God), and Norm Coleman (who correctly stated that his “opponent” Al Franken laughs at the disabled) are going to lead the Republican-run Senate with a President McCain on January 20.

And the Beautiful Mavericked Iraqi-slaughtering, pork-barrel eliminating Sarah Palin will be at his side, debatically burning liberals houses to the ground while Lil Cal watches her on TV with an alluring eye.

Baby Finley will do a back-flip before he learns to walk. Joe The Plumber is on his way to a million-a-year salary. Untaxed. Un-socialized. Un-redistributed.


These Godless Democrats are nothing. They’re bailing out their friends on Wall Street to make sure they get a spot at their fraternity brother’s and sorority sister’s investment firms because they’re positive they’re getting kicked out of office by an informed American public who laugh daily at B. Hussein’s minions of underage followers, chanting his name because it’s easier than actually coming out and saying: “I want to lose the war in Iraq because I secretly agree with Osama bin Laden.”

1 comment:

JReid said...

How's that landslide coming, winger? LOL