Bizarrely, Egyptians Take a Stand Against Terror

"Hi, Saddam? I'll be right down!"

Confusing reports emerged today that Egypt, homeland of blood-thirsty hijacker Mohammad Atta, has been torturing several of their Hamas terrorist allies, whom they apprehended during the Gaza Border Breach Bonanza in January. Whether or not The Grizz would try to squeeze a single drop of salt water from his face was not in question, though what exactly constituted said "torture" was.

The Freedom Brothers recently touched on the inconsistency of Islamists in regards to torture (being in a room with a menstruating female, yes; sawing a bound and screaming man's head from his torso in a dungeon, no), so we'll wait to hear the Egyptian authorities take before evaluating the situation. One way or another, neither The Grizz or Freedom Eagle is crying over spilt milk. As long as America's reputation remains untarnished, it isn't of much concern whether or not a barely functioning dictatorship is abusing hell-bent Terrorists originating in Occupied Gaza - an overpopulated, festering wasteland pragmatically jettisoned by a larger, more prosperous Democracy.

As it turns out, there was even more good news coming out of the region today. Hilariously, two Hamas insurgents hopped on the express train to Paradise when they dismembered themselves in an incident the left-wing media referred to as an "accidental explosion," but the Freedom Brothers called "deliverance of supreme justice by an all-powerful God."

Woops.

According to the Jerusalem Post, hysterical Terrorists ran around in tears, trying their best to keep photographers and other journalists away from the scene, obviously aware of the massive embarrassment this would cause them. Unfortunately, their best efforts were in vain, and they were humiliated before tens, probably hundreds of millions of viewers worldwide.

The Freedom Brothers encourage the Terrorists to seek better training before attempting to handle dangerous items in the future. There's no way for The Troops to take the fight to them if they go killing themselves before the starting bell.

Bring it on.

Young Utahns Take Security Back Into Their Own Hands

Hunter - or Hunted?

CNN reports that thousands of courageous Americans across Utah have taken their lives back into their own hands, and away from the untold number of isolated lunatics that prey upon them from their place at the fringe of society. And, in a sign that America is becoming increasingly Free with each passing day, the state government is moving to pass legislature that encourages the citizenry to arm themselves heavily. School shooters, serial killers and Islamic terrorists refused to comment on the ongoing expansion of the Homefront Army as it stands up to take them on.

A student at the University of Utah - who declined identification in the hopes of elluding a widely feared left-wing crackdown on his Freedom - broke it down for the sheltered East Coast types that wish to deprive him of protection. "Last year, after Virginia Tech, I thought 'I'm not going to be a victim,' " Nick said. "My first thought was 'how tragic.' But then I couldn't help but think it could've been different if they'd allowed the students the right to protect themselves."

Though the tragic events of 4/16 came before the Freedom Brothers began publishing, we touched on precisely this issue in a posting last Pearl Harbor Eve, December 6th. The article covered the wonton slaughter that occured one day earlier at a Nebraska shopping mall, much like any other one would find dotting the amber landscape of the American Heartland. The Grizz is glad to say that his hard-hitting conservative analysis was upstaged by a devoted reader, support the troops, who remarked: "America's been yellow since Clinton. Bush did a fine job trying to turn it around, but I fear it's impossible. This is a national tradgedy [sic]. And so close to Christmas makes it even worse."

Well, from last week's Massacre at Northern Illinois University, we learn two things. The first is that support the troops was wrong about one major thing: it hurts just as bad, no matter the time of year. The second is that even as one hundred million (or probably more) enthusiastic Americans gear up to welcome a third straight term of Republican domination in the Executive branch, a minimal number of marginalized democrats will see their children bleed out on the cafeteria's cold linoleum floor before seeing them carry their constitutionally protected personal defense mechanisms.

There's only one thing more shameful than the fact that a hard-working American Man can't protect his family, and that's that those with the blood-soaked hands don't weep as he does, even as the death toll rises.