Bashar Assad Finally Gets It Right

Bashar Assad, squishy-faced president of Syria - the America of Evil - finally blurted out a truthful statement about Israel in between high-fives with other Terrorist Sponsors at today's Arab Summit in Damascus. "Jerusalem has rejected every peace initiative over the last 30 years... [The bastion of modernity, prosperity, equality and morality surrounded by destitute, uneducated masses operating with a Before Christ worldview] is exploiting the internal Palestinian divisions for its own benefit," he sniffled.

He's damn right it is.

Since its scorched-earth campaign and triumph over Arab aggressors in 1967, Israel has justifiably taken advantage of every one of its Enemies' weaknesses - lack of cohesion, lack of benevolent sponsors (such as The United States of America), and simple lack of intelligence. There is no reason that Israelis shouldn't be dancing the hora in the streets every time an Al-Aqsa Martyrs Brigade revolutionary turns a Hamas suicide bomber into ground pork before he can get shot while trying to cross the Security Wall. That bullet would have cost Israel a fraction of an agorot - a virtually infinite sum when compared to the completely unvalued life it has been dispatched to take.

Unfortunately, a large number of fellow Islamic Extremists weren't on premisis to witness Assad break the Truth barrier. Embarrassingly, the Summit was shunned by Saudi Arabia, Egypt, Jordan and Lebanon's heads of state. The leaders of the former were too busy carrying out America's will in exchange for its generous protection of their heads, which would surely have been severed from their bodies were it not for their powerful benefactors. The Prime Minister of the latter was most likely assassinated on his way to the airport, and the Freedom Brothers can only hope that Hosni Mubarak and King Abdullah were occupied torturing Palestinian extremists in the dungeons of their respective citadels. Nuri al-Maliki obviously wasn't in attendance - as the Freedom Brothers reported earlier this week, he was too busy overseeing the complete liquidation of Mahdi Army forces in Free Basra, Iraq.

The Grizz applauds Heir Assad on his effort to bring a little Truth to the region - up until now, that was a commodity delivered to the people only in the form of bomblets dispersed by Israeli anti-personnel cluster munitions. Unfortunately, considering the mentality of the locals, the Truth hurts whether it comes in the form of a white-hot shard of metal, or in that unintelligible gurgle that is the Arabic language as it spews out from Bashar Assad's stupid face.

Americans and Iraqis Pray for Collapse of Ceasefire and Subsequent Liquidation of Mahdi Army

Major media outlets reported today that Nuri al-Maliki, Prime Minister of Free Iraq, grabbed his Kalashnikov and raced to the front lines of the War on Evil as thousands of valiant Iraqi and Coalition Troops massed in preparation for a decisive battle for the country's - and the world's - future. Iranian trained, sponsored and celebrated Terrorists have taken Americas ever-so-temporary acceptance of their continued existence this side of Paradise as a sign of weakness, and a blank check to carry out their blood-thirsty designs against the will of Basra and Baghdad's citizenry. Now, they're going to pay.

Because the American military has generously trained Iraqi security forces to the highest level of efficiency that would still allow for their utter decimation by the Israeli Defense Forces in a crisis, the Natives are taking the fight to The Enemy almost exclusively. The exceptions are American Special Forces advisers and aircraft, which coordinate to rain an almost constant barrage of hellfire down upon the anti-Iraqi insurgents. Unfortunately, the vast majority of Young Americans down-range are forced to listen to the thunderous battle from a distance, salivating at the thought of getting their own little piece of revenge for 9/11.

Colonel Bill Buckner - no relation to one of American history's most prolific losers - proved that this was "an Iraqi-planned, -led and -executed mission at the direction of the Iraqi prime minister." He claimed that the operations were aimed at crushing "the lawlessness that has been going on under religious or political cover, along with smuggling of oil, weapons, and drugs." Most Americans, however, knew that the battles were mainly focused at weakening Osama bin Laden and his Al-Qaeda henchmen. Colonel Bill also noted that several thousand pinkie-wavers were enjoying tea and scones outside of Basra, ready to sweep in and deliver coup-de-graces to severely wounded, though still breathing foes where necessary. The Grizz, for one, wouldn't mind seeing a few of them swept off for some well-deserved R&R at the tropical prison in Guantanamo.

Americans across the country smiled over their morning cup of joe this morning as they listened to news reports announcing the slaughter of more than 50 blood-soaked Revolutionaries across Iraq by victorious Freedom Forces. The Freedom Brothers pray the so-called "truce" between these Heroes and The Enemy collapses as soon as possible, and that these numbers soon climb to three, then four digits.

Bizarrely, Egyptians Take a Stand Against Terror

"Hi, Saddam? I'll be right down!"

Confusing reports emerged today that Egypt, homeland of blood-thirsty hijacker Mohammad Atta, has been torturing several of their Hamas terrorist allies, whom they apprehended during the Gaza Border Breach Bonanza in January. Whether or not The Grizz would try to squeeze a single drop of salt water from his face was not in question, though what exactly constituted said "torture" was.

The Freedom Brothers recently touched on the inconsistency of Islamists in regards to torture (being in a room with a menstruating female, yes; sawing a bound and screaming man's head from his torso in a dungeon, no), so we'll wait to hear the Egyptian authorities take before evaluating the situation. One way or another, neither The Grizz or Freedom Eagle is crying over spilt milk. As long as America's reputation remains untarnished, it isn't of much concern whether or not a barely functioning dictatorship is abusing hell-bent Terrorists originating in Occupied Gaza - an overpopulated, festering wasteland pragmatically jettisoned by a larger, more prosperous Democracy.

As it turns out, there was even more good news coming out of the region today. Hilariously, two Hamas insurgents hopped on the express train to Paradise when they dismembered themselves in an incident the left-wing media referred to as an "accidental explosion," but the Freedom Brothers called "deliverance of supreme justice by an all-powerful God."

Woops.

According to the Jerusalem Post, hysterical Terrorists ran around in tears, trying their best to keep photographers and other journalists away from the scene, obviously aware of the massive embarrassment this would cause them. Unfortunately, their best efforts were in vain, and they were humiliated before tens, probably hundreds of millions of viewers worldwide.

The Freedom Brothers encourage the Terrorists to seek better training before attempting to handle dangerous items in the future. There's no way for The Troops to take the fight to them if they go killing themselves before the starting bell.

Bring it on.

Johnny Got His Gun: McCain Back in Familiar Place on the Front Lines

War Hero and Future-President John McCain solemnly worships the Judeo-Christian God at the Western Wall Wednesday

This week, the bane of Vietnam, John McCain, has headed to not just one, but both fronts in the War for Freedom: Liberated Iraq and Israel. Despite the pleas of concerned Americans from Sea to Shining Sea, the War Hero and Future-President made it clear: he's only truly at home when he's standing on a blood-drenched battlefield, staring down upon the dismembered corpse of an Enemy Of America. Khalid Sheikh Mohammad was unavailable for comment due to his ongoing - and presumably never-ending - incarceration at the tropical prison in Guantanamo.

On Wednesday, McCain dared the Angel of Death by visiting the battle-scarred southern Israeli city of Sderot. For the last five years, this community has had no shelter from an almost constant rain of hellfire generated by its "peace partners" in Occupied Gaza. McCain warned The Enemy that there will be hell to pay once he's elected President of the United States of America in a landslide victory this November. The Freedom Brothers have the utmost confidence in the Heroes of the Israeli Defense Forces, but to be completely honest, The Grizz wouldn't mind seeing the United States Marine Corps spill a little blood in the fetid slums of that savage wasteland.

In the run-up to his trip, America's Newspaper, the Washington Times contacted Mary Anne Marsh, a political operative closely associated with the dnc, for comic relief. She pretended that the trip is aimed at making John McCain "look presidential," similarly to the "orchestrated hand off with President Bush at the White House several weeks ago." She didn't clarify how Bill Clinton's Wife's experience in the laundry room, or Barack Hussein's experience haggling for drugs on a street corner, made them "look" more presidential than a man with literally dozens of confirmed kills, and who endured more than a quinquennium of torture in a Viet Cong concentration camp.

McCain's courage once again demonstrates that he is the only true heir to Our President George W. Bush, and suggests that America will soon conquer the entire Middle East on its path to Total Victory over Evil. The Freedom Brothers know that their Hero said a prayer for each and every American on his visit to Judaism's holiest sanctuary, the Western Wall, on Wednesday; let each and every American say a prayer for him.

Hussein Obama Promises to Stand Up to Islamic Terrorists, Who He Doesn't Believe Exist

Obama's High School Class

American Hero and Future-President John McCain took a break from haunting the dreams of a generation of Vietnamese communists Wednesday, as he humiliated wet blanket Barack Hussein for his slinky-like stance on Al-Qaeda and the liquidation thereof. McCain's verbal smackdown came in response to his adversary's incoherent assertion that he is the leader of Al-Qaeda, and that the American people want to abandon the people of Iraq as soon as logistically possible.

Hussein seems to be getting overly excited as his stock rises in the stoned-out college student and barely-legal immigrant demographics. Still, just because he isn't an Alter-to-Satan lunatic like fellow democrat Bill Clinton's Wife, doesn't mean that he's any more qualified to rule the free world than her. Luckily, the American people won't be duped by these baseless character assassination ploys launched by liberal hatists. And, after years of such ruthless attacks by America's enemy within, the Republican Movement has become highly skilled at detecting and discrediting such campaigns.

The American people have unanimously agreed to take the War to the Islamic terrorists raping, pillaging and burning their way from Sea to Shining Sea, and even the most deluded left-winger knows that we need a man's man in the captain's seat. It's a proven fact that John McCain has as high a body count as any other member of congress; Obama, on the other hand, has not even a single notch in his rifle stock.

Who do you want leading the War on Evil? A proven coward of dubious character with questionable allegiance to his flag; or a stone-cold killer who's been searching for and destroying America's Enemies since the first day of his adult life?

Millions of Americans Watch as the Hopes of Bill Clinton's Humiliated Wife Evaporate on National Television

This time last year, if you'd have told The Grizz that a Madrassah-schooled, implicated drug-dealer like Barack Hussein would be able to do what the Republican Movement wasn't able to in decades, he would have spit in your face. Yet last night, there it was.

The Freedom Brothers laughed themselves to tears as Bill Clinton's Wife crawled across the floor, fumbling with the jagged pieces of her shattered dream. The scene was almost too perfect:

The liberal media (led by a drooling, wild-eyed Tim Russert) throwing body-blow after body-blow to their former darling;

The smirking doofus to her left who, barely out of diapers, turned her face into a foothold on his scamper to the pinnacle of the sham left-wing movement;

The jeering crowd that pandered to her for years, then cast her away like a second-born Chinese infant.

Considering War Hero and Future President John McCain’s dominant standing in the polls – and American history – we can safely assume that he is going to leave a blood-stained trail of devastation across the landscape of the 2008 general election, just like that of the Vietnamese countryside four decades before. With that victory a certainty, Freedom Eagle and The Grizz can fully enjoy the spectacle of the irrelevant democrat primary as it unfolds.

Unlike the long-finished Republican primary season, which ended with class-act Mitt Romney’s heart-felt endorsement of John McCain, the leftists' side-slitting carnival continues. After Mrs. Clinton’s atomic meltdown at the debate, probably the second and third funniest moments of the week respectively were Hussein Obama's endorsement by Islamic Jihadist Louis Farrakhan, and the hysteria-laced defection of selfish, wishy-washy liberal politicians from Bill Clinton's Wife to the loser that’s winning.

If you think you’ve seen the best, you’ve got another thing coming. The Grizz is going to sit back on his couch and crack open a Caffeine-Free Diet Coke. The fun has just begun.

U.N. More Concerned With U.S. Safety Than Liberals

In a world where Stalinist liberalism is slowly becoming the new black, our socialist leaders cannot be trusted to keep us safe. They can only be trusted with two responsibilities:

1) Bickering with our president, who is trying to protect our freedoms

2) Handing our government over to the terrorists

This became ever more present when it was realized that the United Nations, an irrelevant institution, is more concerned with the well being of Americans than the liberals in the N.I.E. are.

The U.N. nuclear monitoring agency argued Monday that Iran have not stopped their nuclear weapons program, as U.S. intelligence lied and said they did.

The Freedom Brothers are well aware that President Bush spoke truth to power when he said, months ago, that the N.I.E. report was false. little man in Occupied iran is surprised every morning to see the sun in the sky, let alone Tehran in one piece.

Simon Smith, the chief British delegate to the IAEA, said of Iran's weapons program,

"Some of the dates...went beyond 2003." This is directly oppositional to the United States' assessment.

It has become fairly obvious that liberalism is worming its way through our country, saturating our values with infanticide, our foreign policy with Islam0-Fascism, and our families with prostitution and designer drugs. It's time to fight back.

Iran's denial of the report, their idea that this report was nothing but a "forgery," will sit well with the gullible Sean Penns and Jane Fondas of the United States.

We know better. You know better.

It is decades too late. When Iran took our citizens hostage for 444 days from 1979-1981, it should have struck a chord with our leaders. Unfortunately, our Worst President Jimmy Carter was more interested in celebrating the Human Rights of his own citizens being beaten, waterborded, and electrocuted in Tehran. If only the peanut farmer was wise enough to put his own country before terrorists and evil, perhaps there never would have been a President little man.

However, the situation is what it is. democrats, from Kennedy to Johnson, Carter to Clinton have done their best to destroy America -- first for the Soviet Union, then for the terrorists.

It's time to fight back.

This is about more than Iran admitting it has nuclear weapons, which the whole world is already aware of. This is about taking out an enemy. FDR didn't look into whether or not Hitler was intent on turning the globe into a fascist element before he firebombed Dresden, and Truman wasn't worried about winning the hearts and minds of Nagasakians before he unleashed doom upon them.

Our president has proven himself brave. He has proven himself worthy of our approval. He has won the war, and successfully occupied the post-Saddam terrorist-ridden Iraq, from border to border, with almost no slights to speak of. He has won Afghanistan. Now it's the country in between those bastions of hope that needs to be taken care of.

It's time to send a message to Occupied iran. Eliminate the middle man, eliminate the little man, take out the terrorists, and while we're at it, imprison the Dixie Chicks for treason. Wilson would have done it. FDR would have done it. Reagan would have done it.

President Bush, do it.

America Keeps Kim Jong Il in the Crosshairs as Europeans Bend Over

"Come and get it, Monsieur Chirac."

It was the sixth of September, 2007. Tens, maybe/hopefully hundreds of agents of the Syrian terrorist regime had a cup of coffee, kissed their families goodbye, and drove to work the night shift at a top secret government facility nestled just along the Iraqi border. Arriving, they sat down at their desks and began their day's work - engineering the extermination of the Jewish and American peoples. Around midnight, their minds drifted happily towards their soon coming, hard-earned break. Unfortunately for them, the top guns of the Israeli Air Force were the ones fixing lunch.

A half dozen F-15I's from the 69th Squadron of the IAF gave the workers an early dismissal by way of hellfire. Neither the staff, nor the Syrian Atomic Weapons program survived the attack.

Six months later, details have emerged conclusively linking Kim Jong Il to the Syrians' nefarious mission. It's a fact that North Korean mad scientists in the employ of the Man with the Bad Haircut oversaw the nefarious project step by step. It's unclear what prompted this lunatic to draw up and sign his own death warrant, though surely the Godless communist's association with Islamic fundamentalists can't be inspired by the same theo-apocalyptic delusions of his comrades. Most likely he was offered a few loaves of stale bread, which are nearly impossible to come by inside his concentration camp of a country.

In any event, his motives are beside the point. What matters is that he pay.

And pay he will - so promises Our President George W. Bush. Even as America's "allies" drop their pants and grit their teeth for the demigod of the DPRK, the American Administration gets ready for Round II in the War on Evil and its proxies.

The Europeans are currently ready to sign and seal a treaty/suicide note written on their behalf by the North Korean regime. In it, the Freedom Forces encourage North Korea to take no accountability whatsoever for their previous work developing various doomsday devices, and respectfully request that they eventually cease said activities - if they don't mind.

The United States made it clear. There will be no compromise.

To quote Our Chief Negotiator, Christopher R. Hill, "We won't have a complete and correct declaration until we have a complete and correct declaration," and it says exactly what we want it to say.

The Freedom Brothers encourage Our Administration to hold firm in their demands. Legions of Young Americans are standing behind them as well, ready and willing to die for Global Liberty.

Cindy Sheehan Uses Son's Memory as Toilet Paper at Terrorstock 2008

American hero Michael Savage reports that (media) whore Cindy Sheehan was in Egypt Wednesday, continuing her ongoing campaign to destabalize Democratic, Free nations the world over. There, she celebrated her son's brutal demise at the hands of Islamic terrorists in Iraq with none other than the culprits' closest allies - the Muslim Brotherhood.

You read that right.

Sheehan flew ten thousand miles to protest the incarceration of the same terrorists that murdered thousands on 9/11, funded Hamas in Occupied Israel, and shipped suicide bombers by the hundreds to blow up civilians and soldiers like Casey in Iraq. What's next? Making a cash donation to Islamic Jihad? Becoming bin Ladens thirteenth wife? Maybe she'll just strap on an explosive vest and hop on the next flight to Baghdad.

Sheehan vomitted, "As a mother of a son who was killed in the war, I presented a letter to Ms. Suzanne Mubarak to realize how those women and children are suffering." If that's how she feels she should be classified, she should present herself with a letter, telling the recipient how it feels when deluded, emotionally-crippled freaks break bread with the same terrorists killing and dismembering Young Americans by the tens of thousands.

The Grizz would love to be the one who personally tears up this traitorous wench's passport. There's a slew of extremist autocrats who'd love to give her ones of their own.

Straw: Britain Not An Islamic State, Seeks to Become More American

Jack Straw, the United Kingdom's Lord Chancellor (whatever that is), has said that Britain will not submit itself to foreign Islamic law. This apocalyptic scenario was suggested by fringe maniac Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, who should become an Imam and move to Western Pakistan if he's so interested in living in a twisted, bizzaro-values outpost of civilization.

In hopes of shutting down the delusion that England would be the next Kabul or Lagos without provoking widespread terror and disorder, Straw pointed out that British legal system already made accommodations to minorities’ specific needs. He cited the 1996 Arbitration Act, which allows Orthodox Jews and other communities to work together with lawmakers in order to set up a mutually acceptable framework for their special civil needs. While the number of beheadings, hand-severings, temporary-marriage rapes and female genital mutilations carried out by Hassidim seem to be somewhat lower than those by Muslims, his example is well taken.

Straw made another excellent point during his remarks, which came at George Washington University, in Our Nation’s Capital. Implying that he believes the United States to be the most politically advanced nation on the planet, he stated that the United Kingdom should become more American and adopt a Bill of Rights, which will be the first step in bringing his nation forward into the 21st Century. While this announcement comes more than two and a quarter centuries after his countrymen were vanquished and Americans developed their own, it is still a welcome development.

The Freedom Brothers offer their encouragement to Jack Straw as he leads his country to an even higher standard of Freedom. Simultaneously, we’re breathing a deep sigh of relief to hear that the British won’t be taking the completely converse action – returning themselves to a state of primal law, governed by the will cavemen.

London 2009?