George W. Bush Smiles Benevolently Down Upon the Free Iraqi People

"I will forever be indebted to you."

Five years ago today, the United States Military was killing its way across the Southern Iraqi countryside, well on its way to delivering Liberties and Luxuries even the dream of which would have previously earned one of that nation's citizens a hardcore torture session in one of Uday Hussein's dungeons. Now, they fear no more. In the wake of Our President George W. Bush's total victory over his nemesis Saddam, the formation of the non-sectarian Iraqi Government, the Free Democratic elections, and now The Surge, Iraqis - whether they live in the rugged mountains of Kurdistan or the sun-scorched badlands of the Arabian desert - are loving life and the Freedoms generously bestowed upon them by America.

President Bush celebrated Iraq’s fifth Independence Day with thousands of jubilant warriors at America’s military citadel, The Pentagon. He declared that, “The successes we are seeing in Iraq are undeniable! The surge has done more than turn the situation in Iraq around, it has opened the door to a major strategic victory in the broader war on terror.” He added that “the level of violence is significantly down, civilian deaths are down, sectarian killings are down, [and] attacks on American forces are down." The Troops cheered. President Bush was only able to calm them by promising that they’d be allowed back to the front lines as soon as possible, where they could continue their fight against The Enemy.

The situation in Washington differed starkly from that in Fayetteville, N.C, where Barack Hussein mentally defecated on the more than 1,000,000 men and women who have died for their country since it won its own Independence 231 1/2 years earlier. "Nearly 4,000 Americans have given their lives” for absolutely nothing, he told the small group of fringe leftists that gathered for his hate rally. He added, “We are less safe and less able to shape events abroad. We are divided at home and our alliances around the world have been strained."

Whether or not America’s relationships with Barack’s namesake Saddam, little man, fat man, or Kim Jong-Il – even under the Clinton regime – could be characterized as “alliances" is subject to some debate, but in any event, if the “straining” of them is a bad thing, then The Grizz is Rupaul.

This disparity just highlights why it is so important for Americans to vote for War Hero and Future-President John McCain in the landslide victory he will achieve in November. If Barack Hussein or Bill Clinton's Wife somehow manage to infiltrate the White House, it may be the Iraqis coming to our aid next time around.

Venezuelan Tyrant Puts John Hancock on Suicide Note

Venezuelan president and socialist-tyrant/terrorist Hugo “Fat Man” Chavez recently agreed to let the people he stole two elections from die in a fire-pit of misery after the United States decides to unload some pent-up anger on his country.

Chavez, in what experts are saying was a cocaine-induced, alcohol-soaked statement, threatened to declare war on his neighbor and U.S. Ally Columbia, a strong backer in the War On Terror.

Chavez, while attempting to sober up with his enemy’s national hot drink, said he dislikes Columbia’s anti-terror stance. Columbia recently obliterated anarchist Guevera-loyalists who were hiding in the jungles in Ecuador, planning a 9/11-style attack on Our Ally, Columbia.

After Fat Man closed the Columbian embassy in Carcas, he warned that any retaliation against his country would be a “cause for war.” He called Our Ally, Democratically-elected Columbian President Alvaro Uribe, a “criminal.”

Freedom Eagle called The Grizz after church yesterday and proclaimed, “Time to follow the prophetic statement of American Hero and Religious Leader Pat Robertson who called for the violent assassination of Hugo Chavez years ago.”

“Right on,” said The Grizz. “If only the Stalinist-liberals in the media hadn't portrayed Chavez as the next John Lennon, another hatist liberal, we’d never be in this mess.”

The Venezuelan Fat Man knows that the United States will not go to war with his country. War implies both sides are fighting. We will simply obliterate it. Freedom Eagle cannot wait to turn on Fox News and watch the jungles go up in flames, killing all who decide to stay back and fight the United States and her Ally, Columbia. The U.S. Military would love to make Nagasaki look like a calm Spring day in the park.

Go ahead Hugo. Make our day.

24,900 Tons of Floating Revenge

9/11/01 - You Will Be Avenged

The USS New York, an amphibious assault ship christened today in Avondale, Louisiana, looks much like any other waterborne killing machine prowling across the ocean, defending Our Freedoms. Looks, however, can be deceiving.

Long before today’s festivities, on a crisp September’s day in 2001, the ship’s 7.5 ton steel heart was born by fire and baptized in the blood of innocent Americans. The USS New York’s bow stem - the precise spot where metal-meets-water – has been forged from the steel remnants of the same Twin Towers that sheltered almost three thousand hard-working Americans, sacrificed on Allah’s alter by mentally deformed Islamic radicals.

Nothing could possibly take away the pain felt by each and every American since that event.

Nothing except the extermination of untold thousands of like-minded terrorists the world over.

A wiser man than The Grizz once referred to such retribution as “poetic justice.” The very same steel gobbled by Satan will now rain hellfire down upon Our Enemies in Afghanistan, Iraq, and – God Willing – Iran. It will be under the watchful eye of thousands of Young Americans who are ready and willing to die to make sure our enemies – and the citizens of those nations that harbor them - suffer extreme hardship and misfortune for their crimes.

Frighteningly enough, the virtually indestructible juggernaut faces two foes that can render it completely impotent in an instant. Those foes are Madrassah-schooled nit-wit Barack Hussein Obama and Bill Clinton’s opportunistic whore of a Wife, who, this time next year, will hopefully be stitching a quilt while her brownies bake. Any American who votes for either of these low-lifes hates their country and doesn’t care whether their own family members live or die. Luckily, it is a virtual certainty that John McCain will be at the helm, where he is sure to continue the American Onslaught against our foes well into the next decade.

The christening today had a clear message, one that was not missed on Lee Eilpi, who lost his son on 9/11. He conveyed that message loud and clear, so even his pampered, cheese-eating European counterparts could hear him with their heads firmly planted in the sand.

The warship will be used for revenge “if you bother us.” He added, “We’re sending a message that we’re standing strong. This ship, as it cuts through the water, is going to send a ripple. That ripple will say, ‘We cherish our Freedom.’”

You've got that right, Mr. Eilpi.

Let Freedom Ring.

America Keeps Kim Jong Il in the Crosshairs as Europeans Bend Over

"Come and get it, Monsieur Chirac."

It was the sixth of September, 2007. Tens, maybe/hopefully hundreds of agents of the Syrian terrorist regime had a cup of coffee, kissed their families goodbye, and drove to work the night shift at a top secret government facility nestled just along the Iraqi border. Arriving, they sat down at their desks and began their day's work - engineering the extermination of the Jewish and American peoples. Around midnight, their minds drifted happily towards their soon coming, hard-earned break. Unfortunately for them, the top guns of the Israeli Air Force were the ones fixing lunch.

A half dozen F-15I's from the 69th Squadron of the IAF gave the workers an early dismissal by way of hellfire. Neither the staff, nor the Syrian Atomic Weapons program survived the attack.

Six months later, details have emerged conclusively linking Kim Jong Il to the Syrians' nefarious mission. It's a fact that North Korean mad scientists in the employ of the Man with the Bad Haircut oversaw the nefarious project step by step. It's unclear what prompted this lunatic to draw up and sign his own death warrant, though surely the Godless communist's association with Islamic fundamentalists can't be inspired by the same theo-apocalyptic delusions of his comrades. Most likely he was offered a few loaves of stale bread, which are nearly impossible to come by inside his concentration camp of a country.

In any event, his motives are beside the point. What matters is that he pay.

And pay he will - so promises Our President George W. Bush. Even as America's "allies" drop their pants and grit their teeth for the demigod of the DPRK, the American Administration gets ready for Round II in the War on Evil and its proxies.

The Europeans are currently ready to sign and seal a treaty/suicide note written on their behalf by the North Korean regime. In it, the Freedom Forces encourage North Korea to take no accountability whatsoever for their previous work developing various doomsday devices, and respectfully request that they eventually cease said activities - if they don't mind.

The United States made it clear. There will be no compromise.

To quote Our Chief Negotiator, Christopher R. Hill, "We won't have a complete and correct declaration until we have a complete and correct declaration," and it says exactly what we want it to say.

The Freedom Brothers encourage Our Administration to hold firm in their demands. Legions of Young Americans are standing behind them as well, ready and willing to die for Global Liberty.

Let's Celebrate

WANTED: Preferably Dead

Freedom lovers across the nation are putting on their sleeveless t-shirts, buying all the Banana Daiquiri mix they can afford and booking the next flight to Miami. It's the party of the century in the Magic City.

Fidel Castro is through.

Media outlets across the world are confirming that Cuba's Terrorist-in-Chief has stepped down. He made the announcement in a letter, stating that he is unable to simultaneously subjugate the Cuban people and adequately contemplate his impending death in solitude. Cubans rejoiced regardless of where they dwell - be it the global bastion of Freedom, the United States, or the comparative prison of Havana. It is probable that the only humanoid inhabitants of the Caribean Isle that won't be breaking out any cigars are those incarcerated in the tropical prison at Guantanamo.

While the struggle for Liberation continues against Mrs. Castro's other boy, Raul, the surrender and soon-coming demise of the decrepit loser Fidel has to be seen as the latest step in American Progress; a victory for every citizen, and especially Our President George W. Bush. Until its own Independence Day comes, Occupied Cuba remains the only Communist nation in the Northwestern Hemisphere. Canada doesn't count.

To the Free Cuban People: We will fight with you for your Freedom tomorrow, just as we celebrate your victory with you today.

Cindy Sheehan Uses Son's Memory as Toilet Paper at Terrorstock 2008

American hero Michael Savage reports that (media) whore Cindy Sheehan was in Egypt Wednesday, continuing her ongoing campaign to destabalize Democratic, Free nations the world over. There, she celebrated her son's brutal demise at the hands of Islamic terrorists in Iraq with none other than the culprits' closest allies - the Muslim Brotherhood.

You read that right.

Sheehan flew ten thousand miles to protest the incarceration of the same terrorists that murdered thousands on 9/11, funded Hamas in Occupied Israel, and shipped suicide bombers by the hundreds to blow up civilians and soldiers like Casey in Iraq. What's next? Making a cash donation to Islamic Jihad? Becoming bin Ladens thirteenth wife? Maybe she'll just strap on an explosive vest and hop on the next flight to Baghdad.

Sheehan vomitted, "As a mother of a son who was killed in the war, I presented a letter to Ms. Suzanne Mubarak to realize how those women and children are suffering." If that's how she feels she should be classified, she should present herself with a letter, telling the recipient how it feels when deluded, emotionally-crippled freaks break bread with the same terrorists killing and dismembering Young Americans by the tens of thousands.

The Grizz would love to be the one who personally tears up this traitorous wench's passport. There's a slew of extremist autocrats who'd love to give her ones of their own.

Straw: Britain Not An Islamic State, Seeks to Become More American

Jack Straw, the United Kingdom's Lord Chancellor (whatever that is), has said that Britain will not submit itself to foreign Islamic law. This apocalyptic scenario was suggested by fringe maniac Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams, who should become an Imam and move to Western Pakistan if he's so interested in living in a twisted, bizzaro-values outpost of civilization.

In hopes of shutting down the delusion that England would be the next Kabul or Lagos without provoking widespread terror and disorder, Straw pointed out that British legal system already made accommodations to minorities’ specific needs. He cited the 1996 Arbitration Act, which allows Orthodox Jews and other communities to work together with lawmakers in order to set up a mutually acceptable framework for their special civil needs. While the number of beheadings, hand-severings, temporary-marriage rapes and female genital mutilations carried out by Hassidim seem to be somewhat lower than those by Muslims, his example is well taken.

Straw made another excellent point during his remarks, which came at George Washington University, in Our Nation’s Capital. Implying that he believes the United States to be the most politically advanced nation on the planet, he stated that the United Kingdom should become more American and adopt a Bill of Rights, which will be the first step in bringing his nation forward into the 21st Century. While this announcement comes more than two and a quarter centuries after his countrymen were vanquished and Americans developed their own, it is still a welcome development.

The Freedom Brothers offer their encouragement to Jack Straw as he leads his country to an even higher standard of Freedom. Simultaneously, we’re breathing a deep sigh of relief to hear that the British won’t be taking the completely converse action – returning themselves to a state of primal law, governed by the will cavemen.

London 2009?

Freedom Isn't Free: Israelis Settle Tab, Arab Barbarian Paid in Full

News outlets around the world are buzzing about terrorist Imad Mughniyah. Apparently, the four-eyed fatso bought a first class ticket on a carbomb to hell yesterday. Rumor has it that he was flying El Al. The Freedom Brothers hope that when he arrives at his destination, he says hello to Heath Ledger for us.

Mughniyah was responsible for a laundry list of savage acts of terror perpetrated across the planet. His greatest hits include the 1983 car bombing that killed 241 U.S. Marines trying to subdue the degenerate population of Lebanon, the two Hezbollah Jewish Community Center suicide bombings in Buenos Aires, the cold-blooded hijacking/murder on TWA Flight 847 - the list goes on. Unfortunately, true justice could only be achieved were he resurrected and brutally killed again and again.

Currently, the heroes who carried out a little Hezbollah house cleaning yesterday are staying modest. We see the Israelis blushing, but at the same time they're giving a wink and a nod to American intelligence. The Grizz, for one, hopes that everybody got to have a little fun. Maybe next time they'll invite him along.

SIDENOTE: We just heard the news that American hero, Our Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates slipped on ice yesterday and broke his shoulder. Both Freedom Eagle and the Grizz wish him a speedy recovery. We hope he's recuperated and back terminating America's enemies as soon as possible.

America's Revenge: 9/11 Terrorists to Be Killed

The Freedom Brothers are happy to rally media reports that six of the foreign savages responsible for the blackest day in American history will be tried by military commission, convicted and finally killed. Unfortunately, it currently remains unclear whether Freedom Eagle and the Grizz will be allowed by the U.S. government to attend the execution and subsequently dance on the monsters' graves.

Air Force Brig. Gen. Thomas W. Hartmann announced to a jubilant America that the Pentagon is in the final stages of planning the nation's first military tribunal since numerous subjugated Nazis were exterminated in 1947. The trial is expected to be carried out in a facility located at the tropical prison in Guantanamo.

The six men include 9/11 mastermind khalid sheik mohammed, who will finally get the martyrdom he has so longed for. He and the others have been charged with the "crime of conspiracy and with the separate substantive offenses of murder in violation of the law of war, attacking civilians, attacking civilian objects, intentionally causing serious bodily injury, destruction of property in violation of the law of war, terrorism and material support to terrorism." Rap sheets like that, by the Grizz's calculation, place them somewhere between Bill Clinton and Marion Barry on the criminality scale.

Our President, George W. Bush, hopes to have Freedom ringing in the terrorists' ears by the time War Hero John McCain assumes the Presidency next January.

In the coming months, stay with Freedom Eagle and the Grizz for all the breaking news, as well as our hard-hitting, All-American commentary.