Venezuelan Tyrant Puts John Hancock on Suicide Note

Venezuelan president and socialist-tyrant/terrorist Hugo “Fat Man” Chavez recently agreed to let the people he stole two elections from die in a fire-pit of misery after the United States decides to unload some pent-up anger on his country.

Chavez, in what experts are saying was a cocaine-induced, alcohol-soaked statement, threatened to declare war on his neighbor and U.S. Ally Columbia, a strong backer in the War On Terror.

Chavez, while attempting to sober up with his enemy’s national hot drink, said he dislikes Columbia’s anti-terror stance. Columbia recently obliterated anarchist Guevera-loyalists who were hiding in the jungles in Ecuador, planning a 9/11-style attack on Our Ally, Columbia.

After Fat Man closed the Columbian embassy in Carcas, he warned that any retaliation against his country would be a “cause for war.” He called Our Ally, Democratically-elected Columbian President Alvaro Uribe, a “criminal.”

Freedom Eagle called The Grizz after church yesterday and proclaimed, “Time to follow the prophetic statement of American Hero and Religious Leader Pat Robertson who called for the violent assassination of Hugo Chavez years ago.”

“Right on,” said The Grizz. “If only the Stalinist-liberals in the media hadn't portrayed Chavez as the next John Lennon, another hatist liberal, we’d never be in this mess.”

The Venezuelan Fat Man knows that the United States will not go to war with his country. War implies both sides are fighting. We will simply obliterate it. Freedom Eagle cannot wait to turn on Fox News and watch the jungles go up in flames, killing all who decide to stay back and fight the United States and her Ally, Columbia. The U.S. Military would love to make Nagasaki look like a calm Spring day in the park.

Go ahead Hugo. Make our day.