Dennis Kucinich Teeters on the Brink of Disaster

The Washington Post reports that Dennis Kucinich, the bug-eyed multi-election losing freak, is dangling at the edge of a precipice. His attention has turned away from his recent high-visibility failure to earn the democrat presidential nomination. Now, he’s focused on saving his career. A fresh faced, thirty-something hotshot city councilman is challenging him for his seat in the House of Representatives in Ohio’s upcoming primary. Things are not looking good.

Kucinich, most famous for his corpse-like appearance and extra bizarre marriage to a woman a fraction of his age, hasn’t faced a serious threat of being ousted since his election in 1996. He has grown increasingly unpopular in his Cleveland-based district, largely due to the fact that he’s treated it as nothing more than his personal launch pad to super-stardom. For years, he’s relied on his sham working-class credentials to lie his way through every election. Sadly, it duped a large part of his simple Midwestern constituency.

It’s a proven fact that he misses more than one in ten votes in congress. Worse still, he seems to be moving closer to the Socialist fringe of the democrat party, operating on a two-point agenda: desecration of The Fallen and delivery of a gift-wrapped Free Iraq to Satan in Hell. Even Cimperman, a rumored homosexual, got it right, when he pointed out that Kucinich hated his roots and spent time “eating sushi with Sean Penn,” – another radical left-winger.

Just what kind of man he is can be seen by the type of people that comprise his fan club. He’s received considerably financial support from a marijuana legalization PAC, several grade-D Hollywood castoffs, and most curiously, the pornographer Larry Flynt, who’s primary interest is probably getting Kucinich’s harlot wife to drop her knickers on camera.

Luckily, personal ruin has got Dennis Kucinich’s scent and is coming at full gallop. He’ll have plenty of time to enjoy the comforts of his wife’s tongue ring when the American People throw him on the streets this Tuesday.