Friday, March 28, 2008

Patrick Leahy Tells Bill Clinton's Wife to Destroy Self for Sake of Party

"I'm sorry I betrayed you, son."
Patrick Leahy, a democrat senator from left-wing stoner bastion Vermont, has fueled speculation that Bill Clinton's Wife has an imminently scheduled shopping spree at Sacks Fifth Avenue by demanding today that she drop her Presidential bid immediately. While the Freedom Brothers have concluded that the pleasure of watching the complete implosion of the democrat party is more satisfying than an immediate cessation of Mrs. Clinton's career, any possible course of action on her part is good enough, considering the prolific thrashing that John McCain will definitely hand to B. Hussein Obama in November's general election.

Leahy told NPR, "There is no way that Senator Clinton is going to win enough delegates to get the nomination. She ought to withdraw, and she ought to be backing Senator Obama." He added that War Hero and Future-President McCain, "has been making one gaffe after another [and] is getting a free ride."

Are you referring to the ridicule Senator McCain has faced from the liberal media in response to his correct assertion that there is some heavy-petting going on between bin Laden and little man? Is it his working-man's explanation of the housing crisis? Is it his promise to benevolently shephard Free Iraq back from the Gates of Hell, even if it takes a century and five million Iraqi and - more importantly - American lives to do it?

Put down the joint Leahy.

John McCain has more knowledge and experience in the bump in his face than you have in your entire head. He picked this up the hard way: suffering for 1,889 days in a Viet Cong dungeon while you and Jerry Garcia were giving peace a chance at a San Francisco sit in. Unfortunately, the American people won't be fooled, regardless of whether Bill Clinton's Wife takes your advice or not. On November 4th, 2008, you'll be wiping the snot from Barack Obama's nose while the Freedom Brothers (responsibly) sip champagne in celebration of President John McCain's triumphant rise to the top.

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