Let's Celebrate

WANTED: Preferably Dead

Freedom lovers across the nation are putting on their sleeveless t-shirts, buying all the Banana Daiquiri mix they can afford and booking the next flight to Miami. It's the party of the century in the Magic City.

Fidel Castro is through.

Media outlets across the world are confirming that Cuba's Terrorist-in-Chief has stepped down. He made the announcement in a letter, stating that he is unable to simultaneously subjugate the Cuban people and adequately contemplate his impending death in solitude. Cubans rejoiced regardless of where they dwell - be it the global bastion of Freedom, the United States, or the comparative prison of Havana. It is probable that the only humanoid inhabitants of the Caribean Isle that won't be breaking out any cigars are those incarcerated in the tropical prison at Guantanamo.

While the struggle for Liberation continues against Mrs. Castro's other boy, Raul, the surrender and soon-coming demise of the decrepit loser Fidel has to be seen as the latest step in American Progress; a victory for every citizen, and especially Our President George W. Bush. Until its own Independence Day comes, Occupied Cuba remains the only Communist nation in the Northwestern Hemisphere. Canada doesn't count.

To the Free Cuban People: We will fight with you for your Freedom tomorrow, just as we celebrate your victory with you today.