Friday, February 22, 2008

Unleash Hell: Americans Call for War

Americans from sea to shining sea watched in horror yesterday as a Serbian government-incited lynch mob rampaged through its capital and burned their embassy to the ground. The local police force stood by and watched as the animals ran free. Luckily, one drunken fool managed to kill himself in the inferno. That's God's Will if the Grizz has ever seen it.
Many people across our country asked themselves: "Who are these people? Why do they, who live in some place I've never heard of, hate me so?" Then they remembered that the do know Belgrade. "Wasn't that the first European city since the 1940's that The Troops had to wipe off the face of the earth with the heavy hand of American justice?"
Yes it was.
Throughout the 1990's, Serbia was the fortress of genocidal hell-hound Slobodan Milosevic, who sowed terror far and wide across the majestic landscape of the former Yugoslavia. The Serbian people worshipped him like a God, enthusiastically heeding his call to arms and revelling in the indiscriminate slaughter of untold numbers of his neighbors. His reign ended with his death-by-disease in a festering dungeon, his country in ruins (as deserved).
A week ago, Kosovo - a miniscule nation that barely survived his Nazi-like onslaught on courage alone - Declared Their Independence, joining the ever expanding belt of Freedom that stretches from Fairbanks, Alaska to Baghdad, Iraq. Serbians went wild with rage, swearing that they would end the climate of American-bestowed peace they enjoy, and take the region back to 1999. They seem to have forgotten how the United States celebrated Christmas that year.
Apparently, the Serbians haven't had enough. They think that by destroying a material object, they can destroy the will of the American people. They're wrong.
Dead wrong.
The Freedom Brothers say: "Let's roll." If we're lucky, maybe we'll be able to get another sucker punch in on the Chinese.

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