Unleash Hell: Americans Call for War

Americans from sea to shining sea watched in horror yesterday as a Serbian government-incited lynch mob rampaged through its capital and burned their embassy to the ground. The local police force stood by and watched as the animals ran free. Luckily, one drunken fool managed to kill himself in the inferno. That's God's Will if the Grizz has ever seen it.

Many people across our country asked themselves: "Who are these people? Why do they, who live in some place I've never heard of, hate me so?" Then they remembered that the do know Belgrade. "Wasn't that the first European city since the 1940's that The Troops had to wipe off the face of the earth with the heavy hand of American justice?"

Yes it was.

Throughout the 1990's, Serbia was the fortress of genocidal hell-hound Slobodan Milosevic, who sowed terror far and wide across the majestic landscape of the former Yugoslavia. The Serbian people worshipped him like a God, enthusiastically heeding his call to arms and revelling in the indiscriminate slaughter of untold numbers of his neighbors. His reign ended with his death-by-disease in a festering dungeon, his country in ruins (as deserved).

A week ago, Kosovo - a miniscule nation that barely survived his Nazi-like onslaught on courage alone - Declared Their Independence, joining the ever expanding belt of Freedom that stretches from Fairbanks, Alaska to Baghdad, Iraq. Serbians went wild with rage, swearing that they would end the climate of American-bestowed peace they enjoy, and take the region back to 1999. They seem to have forgotten how the United States celebrated Christmas that year.

Apparently, the Serbians haven't had enough. They think that by destroying a material object, they can destroy the will of the American people. They're wrong.

Dead wrong.

The Freedom Brothers say: "Let's roll." If we're lucky, maybe we'll be able to get another sucker punch in on the Chinese.

Heroes on the Homefront Prepare to Crush Berkeley Insurgency

Hundreds of committed Americans moved in on the socialist stronghold of Berkeley, California today, proving that you don't need a machine gun to fight for Freedom. Their actions were prompted by the city council's treasonous decision to vote in favor of a disruptive offensive against The Troops last week - specifically directed at the lions of the United States Marine Corps. It seems that after years of opportunistic pandering to Our Heroes in the Military, democrats have shown their true colors and proved that they are still clinging tight to the "Baby Killer" mentality of the 1970's. Luckily, an acid flashback-crippled, Alex Jones-listening freak in a pink sombrero doesn't scare off the average hard-working American.

The city council voted greatly in favor of the damning resolution, which declares that Marine recruiters are "unwanted intruders," and demands that Berkeley citizens "volunteer to impede, passively or actively... the work of any military recruiting office located in the City of Berkeley." Meanwhile, the cowards of Berkeley's so-called "Police" Department have pledged "neutrality."

Did Washington pledge neutrality when he was enslaved by King George III? Did Abraham Lincoln pledge neutrality when Robert E. Lee tried to tear America to pieces? Did FDR pledge neutrality when the Nazi's tried to turn the page on Freedom?

No. They reached for their gun.

I'm not saying that the police should kill these protesters - as any loyal reader would know, the Grizz values the Right to Free Speech above all others. This is partially pragmatic - it is this Freedom that allows Our Government to know who can be trusted, and who needs to be kept under its watchful glare. But nowadays, we are at war, and acts of disloyalty that compromise Our Troops morale should be considered nothing less than an enemy attack on the homefront.

The Freedom Brothers applaud the Patriots who have made their way from every corner of the country to confront these losers. They are showing the Troops that we care, that they're not alone, and that the fringe of American society might exploit their courage, but it'll never speak for the majority.