Johnny Got His Gun: McCain Back in Familiar Place on the Front Lines

War Hero and Future-President John McCain solemnly worships the Judeo-Christian God at the Western Wall Wednesday

This week, the bane of Vietnam, John McCain, has headed to not just one, but both fronts in the War for Freedom: Liberated Iraq and Israel. Despite the pleas of concerned Americans from Sea to Shining Sea, the War Hero and Future-President made it clear: he's only truly at home when he's standing on a blood-drenched battlefield, staring down upon the dismembered corpse of an Enemy Of America. Khalid Sheikh Mohammad was unavailable for comment due to his ongoing - and presumably never-ending - incarceration at the tropical prison in Guantanamo.

On Wednesday, McCain dared the Angel of Death by visiting the battle-scarred southern Israeli city of Sderot. For the last five years, this community has had no shelter from an almost constant rain of hellfire generated by its "peace partners" in Occupied Gaza. McCain warned The Enemy that there will be hell to pay once he's elected President of the United States of America in a landslide victory this November. The Freedom Brothers have the utmost confidence in the Heroes of the Israeli Defense Forces, but to be completely honest, The Grizz wouldn't mind seeing the United States Marine Corps spill a little blood in the fetid slums of that savage wasteland.

In the run-up to his trip, America's Newspaper, the Washington Times contacted Mary Anne Marsh, a political operative closely associated with the dnc, for comic relief. She pretended that the trip is aimed at making John McCain "look presidential," similarly to the "orchestrated hand off with President Bush at the White House several weeks ago." She didn't clarify how Bill Clinton's Wife's experience in the laundry room, or Barack Hussein's experience haggling for drugs on a street corner, made them "look" more presidential than a man with literally dozens of confirmed kills, and who endured more than a quinquennium of torture in a Viet Cong concentration camp.

McCain's courage once again demonstrates that he is the only true heir to Our President George W. Bush, and suggests that America will soon conquer the entire Middle East on its path to Total Victory over Evil. The Freedom Brothers know that their Hero said a prayer for each and every American on his visit to Judaism's holiest sanctuary, the Western Wall, on Wednesday; let each and every American say a prayer for him.